What a Day!!

Part 1:

I've had the stomach flu for over a week. At least I think that's what it is... Anyway, I've been exhausted and restless. Last night, I took a valium to help me sleep. Well, I had the most bizarre dream.

I dreamed I was a famous rock star in China. I was in a hotel room with rich old women who were helping me with meetings and gigs. I was signing autographs and being trailed by adoring fans. I could not walk around Shanghai without getting stopped and photographed. It felt very real. I lamented losing my anonymity as I was whisked from one luxurious penthouse hotel room to the next. One room overlooked the sea and a family of black nightmare ducks* were swimming in the rough seas. The baby nightmare duck was getting pulled under when the dad nightmare duck sprouted human arms and rescued it.

I ended up in a Baskin Robbins, got an ice cream, and rode a big wheels away through the city. Then, I woke up.

Note to self: no more valium before bed. That was my last one anyway.

*Black nightmare ducks are cormorants. I used to call them black nightmare ducks until I learned what they are.
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Part 2:

I came home from work today and found my back door wide open. The beau NEVER, EVER leaves the back door open. In the almost 9 years we've been here, I can't remember a time he's done it.

I tried calling the beau on his cell, but he never has his cell on. I decided I should call the cops to check out the place.

I called the non-emergency number and explain the situation. I was advised to wait outside for the cops to come. No problem. As I'm pacing back and forth in front of the home, it starts to rain. I go to my car and sit, and sit, and sit. I sit some more before I pull out my car manual and read up on the features that I never use.

An hour goes by. Neighbors come and go. I saw some woman walking aimlessly in and around cars. But she was a red herring (is that the right term? I mean she was not part of the story even though I thought she was gonna be.)

The cops pull up and approach my door so I go to meet them. They asked who lives here, who might be inside, etc... I said it's just me 'cause the beau's at work. I hadn't noticed that the cops had drawn their weapons until they asked, "Are you sure? I don't want to shoot anyone accidentally." I said, "Yes." Um, I wasn't SURE, but the beau's car was gone. I hadn't shouted his name because I forgot and I was scared I would frighten someone hiding if someone was hiding. Damn it. "I'm going to wait outside," I said.

I could've used a valium right then.

They enter guns and flashlights drawn. They start stomping and yelling, "San Francisco Police. If you're in here, you'd better tell us. Make some noise because we're coming." Hello? What movie did I just walk into? I hear them swinging or kicking doors open. One swept the bottom floor while the other ventured upstairs. Did I mention my house is a mess?

The downstairs cop yelled to his partner, "Partner, I'm coming up. You hear?" It took a really long time or maybe time goes by slowly when you're panicking. I was tense. If I'm ever near a gun, I think I can feel ghost bullet wounds.

They called out, "Ma'am." Hee hee. I'm a ma'am. "Ma'am," they said, "it looks clear. Will you look around and make sure things are not missing or in disarray? There have been break-ins in the area and we think we know who they are, but we can't catch them in the act." I looked around and said it looked ok.

They examined the open back door and declared there were no signs of forced entry. They pointed to our fully stocked bar and said, "They definitely would've taken this." They made some recommendations on how to reinforce the back door. I apologized for being super cautious and for calling them out. They said they were happy it wasn't anything. They also said it was nice that I was so happy to have their help and, for once, not to get the stink-eye for showing up. They suggested I call the beau to make sure he didn't leave the door open, just in case.

I called the beau, which I never do, and he was freaked out. "What's up?" he asked with a tremor in his voice. He didn't remember leaving the back door open. I have no mental closure. So tonight, I'm watching some Harry Potter and staying downstairs 'til the beau gets here. I'm still scared. :-(