Something On My Mind

I think part of why I've been disoriented this week is because I got some shocking news.

A friend sent me an e-mail asking if I was ok and if I had heard the news. Her message was very cryptic, but I didn't think much of it. I asked what she was talking about because I had been busy working on some projects that required my full attention. She replied by saying that a friend of mine was accused of a crime, and not some little crime, a pretty serious one. I was sure she was mistaken, so I asked her to send me what she had seen.

Sure enough, my friend had been arrested. It was a tiny mention, but it contained lots that had my head spinning.

I've written about this friend in my blog. It was someone I really trusted. Someone on the short list of friends you call when you need help or want to talk or want to have lunch or gossip. Granted, over the past few months, it was somewhat of a fair weather friendship, but whenever we reconnected, it was so fun. I learned a lot from this person. I sought advice from this person. I gave advice to this person. This person would always ask how my family was. We went to church together. We laughed. We commiserated. All the things friends do.

I really can't believe that the crime that's been accused is possible. If it is, then all the moments spent with this person would have been a lie. The person I thought I knew wouldn't have done this. Had I been fooled or charmed or manipulated by a brilliant con artist? Even as I write this, my head is swimming in confusion because I can't believe the magnitude of it. I wonder if it's all a mistake. Maybe it's a set up. But it would have to be one pretty elaborate set up.

It's absurd for me to think that I could not have spotted being manipulated. But that's the downside of being manipulated. Most of the time, you don't know it's happening. This is why it's so hard to trust. You put yourself out there and you get taken advantage of. I feel horrible and I can't stop thinking, "Who was this person?" Sadly, they get to think about it long and hard in prison - all the people hurt along the way. This person was well-respected and trusted. All that effort spent building a solid, reliable reputation was for naught. But that's the m.o. of con artists, right? Everything is temporary. That's life on the grift. I'm a casualty of the grift.

I hope, if any bit of who I thought I knew is in this con artist, that there is a friend out there who can stand by this person for support. It won't be me, but I hope it's someone.